Strange how one’s emotions can change to suddenly. For us women especially, we have to deal with fluctuations in our mood more so than men. But we’re used to it, so it should come to our surprise when you switch your mood from happy to sad within short instances. As I just completed reading The Hole in Our Gospel, by Richard Stearns, President of World Vision, I am filled with sadness, frustration and anger. Never in my life have I read a book that spoke so much from my own heart. When I flipped through the pages, it seemed as if Richard Stearns got insight into my soul but added some of his actual experience on top of that and wrote it all down. The book challenges Christians to consider their commitment to Christ and what it really takes to serve Him fully. It’s not just about going to church every Sunday and praying before every meal. It is more than just forgiving those who have sinned against you and communicate with God about your fear and anxieties in life. Rather than just praying for strength and patience, it is our responsibility, as individuals, families, churches, communities, and nations, to look around. We need to start opening our eyes and truly begin loving our neighbors. And our neighbors aren’t just people who live next door. And they are not only citizens of neighboring countries. They are ALL people. Being fortunate enough to have been born into the Western and wealthy part of this earth, it is our responsibility to lend a helping hand to those who are less fortunate. We are living luxurious lives, because GOD put us here. It was HIS choice to give us food, shelter, medical care, and clean water. We need to begin to appreciate our circumstances and stop taking them for granted! Today, it made me cry to think about how selfish we are, consumed by the desire to make more and more money, too busy trying to look good and be fancy, consumed by our need to socialize and spend money on exotic foods, drinks, and entertainment. We have become ignorant by what is happening in the rest of the world, where 1 billion people live below the poverty line, where 26,000 children die every DAY due to malnutrition or diseases that could have been cured if only access to clean water, food and healthcare was available.
It makes me sick hearing people say that they don’t have time, money or other resources available to help. It’s so easy to help. SO easy. And if people had a will, then they would find a way. But they don’t. Why? There are so many people that have such a large arsenal of potential to make a difference, be it due to their income, their talents and skills, or maybe due to their connections to people that have any of the above. Felito finally managed to put up his fundraising page for his Ronald McDonald marathon fundraiser. I am truly proud of him for getting this done. It’s been attractive to me from the first day I met him, that he has a heart to be giving, but he is a procrastinator and also very busy. I wish that he would take a moment and take advantage of the excellent connections he maintains: CEOs, presidents, entrepreneurs, creative people, influential leaders of all ages, races, and backgrounds. People like that could make a difference in the Third World if only they’d be paying more attention or given an opportunity to contribute. One thing I struggle to understand is why God doesn’t speak to us more through the Holy Spirit and encourage us to do more. Do we first have to invite the Holy Spirit in, in the sense that we won’t allow it to speak to us? Why isn’t God changing the minds of us and move us to love our neighbors more? Maybe He won’t speak to those who haven’t accepted Jesus as their savior but what about us Christians? Why doesn’t He make us understand that if we don’t follow the commandment to love our neighbors we will be goats, rather than sheep?
Today, I feel discouraged. Yes, I am overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done, but more so, I am sad to have to few friends who understand the need to push and push and make a difference. By no means am I putting myself on a high horse. I am not doing enough! And maybe I am too hard on myself and everyone else, but I wish that more people would not only open their eyes, but start moving in a new direction. So I pray to God to ask for guidance. How can I move people? How can I make a difference?
I have raised $410 towards my goal of $700 for my Make-A-Wish fundraiser for the Chicago Marathon so far. I am beginning to trust that I will have enough and won’t have to pay too much out of my own pocket. But I have to keep reminding myself that everything will be ok. That God will provide everything that He feels I need to be successful in His eyes. I know that He is watching out for my best interest, that He is giving me opportunities to grow closer to Him, to be courageous, patient, and giving. I am still scared and worried, but I know that He is just as sad as I am about the troubles of this sinful world.
“Let my heart be broken by the things that brake the heart of God.”